Nameless - "Time-Keepers"

"Time, it took us
To where the water was
That’s what the water gave me
And time goes quicker
Between the two of us
Oh, my love, don’t forsake me
Take what the water gave me

Lay me down
Let the only sound
Be the overflow
Pockets full of stones

Lay me down
Let the only sound
Be the overflow..."

Cross is dead.

Yesterday, I made time stand still and slipped from the cuffs that bound Skye and me together, and I went to pay Cross a visit- so that I might bid him a final farewell.

I told him of my pregnancy and that I was going home, after all this time, and that I was staying there. At first, he appeared surprised- but, oh, the pregnancy. He turned an ashen shade, and stared down at his shoes.

"You... went out as well last night.... It's Skye's."

I said nothing to him in regard of whom the father is.

When I looked back up at him, tears were streaming freely from his violet gaze. He trembled, trying to laugh at some point before realising his vocals had twisted into a pitiful sob, and he quieted himself. I asked him,
"Do you think you would ever kill someone, Cross?"

"Nobody but myself."

"Don't say that."

"Oh, it's a joke, Nameless... Isn't that what we psychotic people do? Make dark jokes?" And he claimed he was happy, but I did not believe that claim for a second.

"I'm sorry, Nameless... I said my heart was yours, that you could have it..." From his coat, he pulled a glass heart of the deepest shade of crimson, and he slid it across the table, to me. "I will not betray you."

I told him that I am a coward- and I am- and that I was not ready for any of this. I am so afraid... of everything...

"Go back to Skye, and raise that beautiful child with him... Take my heart, but forget my face, forget everything about me... You're stronger than you think, Nameless..."

"Skye will die if I leave him again... He wants me to kill Elias, and Elias to kill you...!" (But honestly, Elias- Did you expect me to be the king's advisor and be unaware of your little secret? How sadly amusing...)

"I'm already dead, it's all right."

"What?" I did not understand. This boy was not a ghost. What was he talking about?

"Nameless, oh Nameless... My heartbeat intrigued you the other day, and I told you, it was merely a time-keeper. The blood that pulses through one's veins, their heartbeat... That is only anatomy- If their soul is damaged enough, what is life but a vague and contridicting lie?"

I sat on the floor, contemplating this, and all I could manage to say was "I don't want them to hurt you, Cross..."

"What would me being a corpse and not of this earth affect you? And it's fine, it shouldn't. It shouldn't with anyone..."

"Then, let me have your soul..." I am selfish.

He said he was not ready to give it up, and so I told him to stop saying stupid things. Then he said, he would cancel it, and blubbering, he pulled it out, saying I could have his sould now.

I asked him if he was certain about his decision, and he turned to me, purple eyes dull and stoic...

"Would it make you happy?"

"What is it you want, cross"

"To live a happy life. No, nothing perfect. Nothing is ever perfect, and I like that. But I seem to mess up everything in my life. I'm selfish. I call myself an artist... my wrok is redundant and nothing special... Would my soul ever be pleasing! Ha!"

"Then, live..."

From the table, he drew a blade and slashed a crooked line deep into his jugular until the blood squirted out uncontrollably, and he began to gag and cough and produce spattered noises to accompany that crimson liquid...

"And oh, poor Atlas
The world’s a beast of a burden
You’ve been holding on a long time
And all this longing
And the ships are left to rust
That’s what the water gave us

So lay me down
Let the only sound
Be the overflow
Pockets full of stones
Lay me down
Let the only sound
Be the overflow..."

"You might a-as we- well... take my soul now." said he, and, my composure unfaultering (as I was in shock), I outstretched an arm, and withdrew the knife from his grasp, letting it fall to the tile floor below with a jingle, a clink, a ring of silver that pierced through the ominous silence.

My friend, Cross, died with a smile on his face. And as he died, I took him by his coat collar and pulled him into one final kiss, and stole from him his soul.

I did not cry, but took his wounds and healed them, and I took his glass heart and infused it with his soul... What I did with his body is not to be spoken of.

"‘Cause they took your loved ones
But returned them in exchange for you
But would you have it any other way?
Would you have it any other way?
You couldn't have it any other way..."
Skye... He's dead, just like you wanted. Just like you wanted...

Always what you wanted...

Let this child foretell our fate, my love, I love you... Love me, only me, always, and forever...

"‘Cause she’s a cruel mistress
And a bargain must be made
But oh, my love, don’t forget me
I let the water take me

Lay me down
Let the only sound
Be the over flow
Pockets full of stones

Lay me down
Let the only sound
Be the overflow

Lay me down
Let the only sound
Be the overflow
Pockets full of stones

Lay me down
Let the only sound
Be the overflow."
And such is the end of the story
of my dear friend,
Cross. Farwell, you psychotic son of a bitch...



 

Sebastian Michaelis

Ciel is on leave for approximately two months. I'm frightened he won't be home in time for Christmas... Even though we are as we are, it is still a lovely time in the year for family and I wouldn't fancy sleeping alone on Christmas Eve.

While he is gone, I have busied myself with creating a parliament within my extended kingdom of Hell- because I cannot be there all the time, hence, such a government structure is needed- and it is the most tedious ordeal.

Meanwhile, at home, I have been a horrible old thing, throwing chairs and harming the children.

 I wrote a letter to Ciel today and I should hopefully have one in return from him by Monday...

I am slowly losing my patience for life on Earth. Suddenly, time does not go by so fast anymore...

Caru Faustus

I've lost my pride, my innocence, to Denzel.

The boy who calls that silly old bear his lover.

The boy who wears dresses without a care in the world.

The boy who...

Who makes me so very angry.

I do not want to risk falling in love with someone like him. I am not certain if I trust him entirely. There is this nagging voice in the back of my head... Is such a valid excuse to be frightened? I think not.

No- what is frightening is that he would go so far as to hurt himself out of guilt.

He bent his finger back until it gave a loud crunch and pop and was fractured last night, because we were playing a game, and he had dared me to go and slap Sebastian and call him a baka- Sebastian gave me quite a few blows with those heavy, clawed hands of his. I will be honest- it did hurt, very much.

Denzel figured that if I was hurt, he had to hurt as well, for he was the cause of my pain.

What a moron.

I do not want to have sex with someone of such a low mentality. I should not fall in love with him. I should not let emotions nor hormones rule. Ego sum daemon.

Hm, scratch the hormones bit, then.

...And if I happen to fail, then so be it, yes?

I am going to discuss this with Eevie...

Keaira Dimitri Faustus

Mother has tricked Cambion into taking a potion that transferred the illnesses of our extended bloodline into his frail body- everyone is healed, and he must now carry each of their burdens.

I haven't one idea of how to fix it, at all. I need to know. Mother refuses to tell me and I am becoming- frustrated is a major understatement.

I am thinking too slow. Researching too slow. Taking my precious time...

Last night, Echo asked me something that had not crossed me mind prior:

"Is he going to die?"

...Not if I can help it, he won't. I must hurry despite any reassurances Cambion may give me that he is not dying.

Time waits for no one.

Nameless

"Long ago, whenever we'd meet,
we would always fight, lie, and scream-
Yet, I still look back on those days so fondly.
Because of you, I am the person who is
standing here before you;
And no matter how hard it may be, I can grasp ahold
of happiness, I believe..."

Dear Skye,

I'm gone again, but by the time you read this, you'll already know that, I guess...

I miss you. I always will. I miss you, even when you are right beside me. I feel so far away from you now... It never used to be like this.

I ran, because I got scared. I get scared easily. I don't trust anyone.

And I stabbed Elias for those exact reasons.

I didn't think I would actually hurt him, because, I'm blind.

Not to mention, I treat the children like rubbish. I don't spend time with them and I when I am given the chance to, I become unstable, and I yell at them.

I don't expect you or anyone to come after me now. I'd only run again unless you kept me locked away.

I should have just stayed dead... I'm miserable to such an extent that I am hurting other people...

How pathetic.


-Don't hurt Lucky, cheer up Den, and be nice to Bambi,
                                                            Nameless.
"Even though my hear is aching,
and my weakened spirit, breaking,
I will find a way to keep
all those dreams we made so long ago.
I'll return to where it began,
and I'll thank God for the times we had,
so when I wake up to morning, I won't cry
even though I'm alone."



Lachrimae Branwen Michaelis-Phantomhive

"When I try to look through the past,
I can finally start to see
that we were so young, full of life, and naive.
And now I question if this life we hold
is nothing more than fleeting dreams;
But those thoughts, they only hold me back
from becoming all that I can be.
I'll move on..."

There is not one day that goes by, that I do not regret... all the choices I made in the past.

But- it did, after all, lead me to this life that I live now. And, really, leaving in this manner is not so bad, for...

I am honestly considering asking Echo to marry me, when I thought I might never be married again. When I thought I would fall ill in another relationship. When I thought, I didn't stand another chance in love.

Echo is a darling. Every moment spent in her presence simply- makes me happy. I cannot explain it in words, and if I could it would look like this:

jaodjaidjioeuaroieyghaodbvajklnf[ldmlkfjaodieueiouerioau[erw2i4u0qujoidflak]d\fja[dfl.

Well, kind of. Actually, that looks like I am high.

Never mind.

Anyway...

I comprehend that some obstacles may be presented- But like Mum always says-

What is a game without its thrills?~


L. Lawliet

"I'll go anywhere, just watch me-
Never stopping, always growing.
Oh, this happiness I long for- I know one day,
it will be with me.
Though our distance may grow further,
and our hearts are overwhelmed at times,
we can look back on all me made.
I proclaim: I will be born again!"

I collapsed into the snow when he gave me back that ring, and my heart, like glass, shattered to bits and pieces, and I died.

He had kissed me, and held me, and cried. He had told me "I can't love you any more because I'm scared."

..."I can't love you, L."

It was my own son- my little angel- he brought me back to life, for he knew, I had not meant to leave him- even if he knew conducting such an act would cost him his place in Heaven.

He brought Mello back to me the day after.

It would seem that we cannot stay away for too long, under any circumstance, and for that, I am grateful- It is like gravity keeps up bound to one another.

He belongs to me, and I belong to him, and this is how it must be- For, true love is never wrong, and so it never dies.

The only perfection that exists in this world, is when I look into his eyes and that of our son's, and see the memories that we have made, together- the good, the bad, the- the ones that look like that bag of marshmallows that Mello stole from me last night.

...He shall pay for that. D<


Gabriel Day Lawliet

"I can feel my heart is breaking,
and although my strength is dying,
I can hear a voice inside me, telling me
that I must go on.
Life will always be so painful
in this loneliness consuming me.
Still, I know that deep in my heart,
there's a light that's shining brightly... "

"Go find a new home."

Dad basically told me he didn't want me in my time of need. I mean, I understand that he was upset, but...

I had to sleep with my mother's cold, dead body. I had to walk all the way back home, alone, in the middle of the night, in the snow, with only my pajamas to keep me warm.

When I took it into my own hands to reanimate Mother the next day, and I brought Dad to come and see him, I had the strongest urge to rather take the life of Mello in the end.

I cannot describe in words my hatred for this vile boar.

I hate him. I really do hate. Hate, hate, hate, hate...

And when I looked in the mirror this morning, I was none to surprised to discovery two little knobs protruding from the sides of my skull...


Sebastian Michaelis

Ciel and I were wed again on October the 30th (if I do not write this down, I fear I will forget the date...) and are now in Paris (not Texas) for our second Honeymoon.

The room smells sorely of ginger, and now, of sex- and I will not have Ciel wear any extravagant clothing for the rest of our stay here. He wore a lovely black dress with a corset for the wedding-

What a hassle to simply remove from his body. By the time it was taken off, we were both more exhausted than eager.

I am still amazed we got through one time that night.

Eh... Fail.

Ciel, however, had obtained enough energy thereafter to force me into this dreadful gingerbread man costume-

And speaking of cosumes, Sascha gave me a call about an hour ago, informing me that a certain master of his threw a party at my (former) master's manor.

...I shall now think of more activities for bocchan and I to participate in until the children clean up the whole of the estate.

...

...

... I should probably fetch some coffee first.


"Now is where I take my last stand.
This is all I have, my last chance.
Time to make all our dreams come true;
If I fail, I'll just keep moving on...
When I close my eyes at night,
I can hear our laughter loud and clear.
Now I know what keeps me living-
You are 
             my 
                   most precious 
                                           treasure." 

L- C'est La Mort- Day One

Fight the fight alone
When the world is full of victims
Dims a fading light
In our souls

Leave the peace alone
How we all are slowly changing
Dims a fading light
In our souls

In my opinion seeing is to know
The things we hold
Are always first to go
And who's to say
We won't end up alone?"

Since the day I was born on this Earth, I have strived for things I knew I could never reach- I could only ever come so close.

That never stopped me from trying.

Being thrust from my place in Heaven changed that and I give up. But I suppose everyone has already guessed that, correct? Yes. Correct.

I could have had a family. When I think back to that time where the word almost only mad me hope more, it hurts, because "almost" now, makes me think of what can never be now that I've ruined it. Like a shattered vase, I can always try to piece my life back together, the bonds that were broken; but the glue would be cheap, and surely, the vase would only fall to pieces again. And so, what really is the point in trying? What good will it really do in the end? And what would make me think I was good enough for them? Their trust? I cannot even trust myself now, because look at what I've done. I steal away hope. I wreak havoc in my very wake. And since when did I start lying?

Since that lying, selfish, dead, superior being decided that I was worthy enough to enter His realm- and then, upon realizing I was frightened of the afterlife, mistook my fear as ungratefullness, and tossed me back down here like a wad of useless rubbish; when I needed His comfort. Now, where is the hope in that? Where is hope on broken wings, do you think?

"On broken wings I'm falling
And it won't be long
The skin on me is burning
By the fires of the sun
On skinned knees
I'm bleeding
And it won't be long
I've got to find that meaning
I'll search for so long."
Riley was chasing after his dog yesterday and just so happened to come into my neighborhood, and I invited him into my house, because he's my friend after all. I trust him- in fact, he's the only person I can confide in any more, and I am grateful for his companionship. But I do wonder if he really knows this... I wish he would believe me when I tell him.

Words were said, and things were done. But lies were not told. Lies never accomplish anything... Or so I've learned.

We spoke for a while, about ravens and writing desks, and I gave him peanut butter- and then, he asked me, "L, do you still like... Light?"

And I thought for a very long time.

"I hate him, and I love him." I said. "There were always times I wished he would get out of my skin. And he's been dead so long now, burning in Hell; a befitting punishment for a psychotic mass murderer..."

He shot me a cold glare, though I could tell he had not intended to do so. He's jealous, I know, even if I'm not really a "people person." I thought it was obvious...

I continued. "It doesn't matter now. He's dead. I'm dead. No one trusts me anymore. I don't work. I don't fight for justice. I simply sit here with each passing day, gradually, disgustingly, rotting away... Riley, Heaven is truly Hell when its so called "reward" is eternal life. No one should have to live forever. There is nothing importantworth living for now as an angel, but I cannot ever die, because angels aren't made for that. I should be burning away in the Might Blaze, because then, even suffering would be more satisfactory than being thrust down from eternal life and having to reside on this Earth forevermore, after I thought I would never have to return here. Misery is an unbearable emotion when you know it really is inescapable. Any why (in my case)? Because I keep fucking up. And I'm losing everyone I have ever dared to care about. Which is why I try to stay away from people; I am bad luck to everyone."

And he listened to me, a shocked expression slowly contorting his features. At the end of this, he blinked, and told me that he "wouldn't know." I immediately apologised for going off on him like that about such depressing subjects.

"But, L, maybe you're right." He stuttered. "But like I said, I wouldn't know. I'm just human..."

Just human, hm? Just?

What an understatement.

"When I was human, I helped a great deal of people. But now, as an angel, I bring nothing to them but pain. When I was human, I figured, I would dedicate my life and intelligence to others, and when I died, all my duties would be fulfilled and I could rest and not have to exist for so long, or down here, ever again. I thought I had said good-bye to this world, to any kind of life, forever. I never liked the thought of an afterlife. I didn't want there to really be one; even simply thinking something like this could happen scared me more than anything in the world."

"But, if you have something to live for then, living isn't so useless then, right? You have kids and shit. I think that's reason enough. And, there are a lot of people, here on Earth, that really enjoy your company..."

"My kid hates me, and he has reason to. He wants nothing to do with me, and- I don't understand why anyone would enjoy my company. I can't trust myself. How can anyone else trust me, then?"

"I don't know why... And... I can't help it, and though I shouldn't, I trust you. 'Cause... I love you. I mean, as a friend, of course!"

My face became warm and my eyes began to burn. Please don't, Riley... I beg of you. And I don't like begging, not ever.

Before I knew it, he told me to shut up and stop saying bad things, and he kissed me.

And eventually, we flocked over to my bed.

"I don't want to feel, to hear the silence; the quiet scares me because it speaks the truth. Please don't tell me why we are having this converstation. I wouldn't understaind when I cannot be trusted; because I am obviously just that stupid. I just want that salvation I was promised. I just want that salvation I was promised... in any form it is offered in. But it has to want me too."

And at some point in time (after a tickle fight, in which I swear lasted about an hour), we settled in the bed, in the dark, together.

"I'm cold."

"Whaddaya expect me to do about it?"

"...Do you know the best way to start fires?"

"With a lighter?"

"Hm, I prefer the old fashioned way... Rubbing wood together."

He blushed and I laughed, and said I was going to sleep and pretended to do so; Riley fell asleep quickly, and I watched over him.

When at rest, things are in their most beautiful state...

"Cry ourselves to sleep
We will sleep alone forever
Will you lay me down
In the same place with all I love?

Mend the broken homes
Care for them they are our brothers
Save the fading light in our souls

In my opinion seeing is to know
What you give
Will always carry you
And who's to say
We won't survive it too?"
I was leaning against my son's favourite bridge and looking down into the murky water this afternoon when I heard a voice I wasn't so sure I had ever wanted to hear again, saying my name.

Mello.

By his feet lay a briefcase, and wrapped around his lily-white shoulders was a jacket. He regarded me with an uncertain gaze and asked me how I was. I threw the rock I had kept in my fist at my own reflection in the water and said that I didn't know how I was.

"Don't do that, please..." he said, and came up to me, giving me a hug. And for a moment, I clung to him, and pushed him away, yelling at him to stop- such was futile; he only reeled me back in.

"Shut up, stupid."

I started crying. I didn't want him near me again. I didn't want to see his face. He wouldn't let me go. Dammit! How dare he make me cry?

Why should I even care when I haven't a drop of pride to spare?

"Mello, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry..."

He winced as if he had not been expecting this, and lifted one of his paws and pressed the tips of his long digits into my back, rubbing at the twisted muscle beneath my skin.

"Yeah, I know. It's all okay. L, you need to go see Gabriel and Riley..."

"I did... Riley is asleep at my place and Gabriel doesn't want a thing to do with me..."

"...Yeah, that figures. About- ya know- Gabriel. But I think- I think, maybe Riley should stay with you. Take him in. He loves you a lot."

You aren't going to really lecture me about this, are you Mel? I wondered. I didn't want to talk about any kind of love, or relationship, bonds. Nothing. It was enough to make me want to spit my own stomach out like some kind of frog. Well, not necessarily it- but me. I'm disgusting. I don't think I really am worthy of being loved. Mello of all people should know that. How dare he even suggest it?

"I don't want to be loved ever again. Once was enough for me."

"If anything, I think that's what you need. And you want that, too. No matter how much you deny it, because you're a horrible liar. Did you know that, Detective? No one likes being lonely. You don't, neither does Riley. So staying with you wouldn't be a bad idea. You owe it to me."

Okay, so let me get this straight: You believe you know what I want and what I don't want, but, how can you think you know me when I'm trying to understand myself? Answer that for me, Mello. I dare you. Second- The guilt card? Are you certain you want to play this game with me? Choose wisely.

You want lying? Fine.

"...I don't want him. I'm still in love with you and, and I can't do anything now but sit in my room and rot away wishing there was no Heaven, and wishing I could have stopped existing, and wishing Light would have really made that happen like he swore to me he would, and he lied to me! But maybe this was his intention because he knew I'd go to Heaven and then, suddenly, I wouldn't be good enough for God, and then I'd fall. Because I was meant to suffer and live forever in this fucked up world!"

There you go.

Lies.

Truths.

You sort them out yourself if you think you know so much, Keehl.

And what did you do? You rolled your eyes to me.

And what did you say? ...

"Light was a little bitch. And you weren't meant to suffer. Honestly? You're being selfish. If you want to stop being in pain, stop yourself from wallowing in it, then go and fix it. Try to do something with your son. Let Riley live with you. I keep trying to get through to Riley and he still just loves you. And if you're not going to do either of that, then you can just go and get out of my fucking face, because the sight of you doesn't please me anymore."

So that's how you feel, hm?

I spent my entire life on Earth, living for the world, for the people, to bring justice and make a change for the better. And now you are saying, that in death, I cannot be selfish? Am I being selfish, Mello? What are you doing? What am I doing? There is a fine line, a miniscule thread, here, between love and hate, and the truth and lies.

I'm going to find some scissors now, and I'm going to snip that thread away.

Yes. In the same way I walked away from you today.

You came onto me all those months ago, and I warned you- I cannot love properly. I warned you, you would regret this. I warned you, get away while you could.

Don't you tell me to go away when you wouldn't. You have no right to. You fucking bastard... How dare you?

I feel sick. I think I'm going to go take my temperature now.

"Set a-free all
Relying on their will
To make me all that I am
And all I'll be

On broken wings I'm falling
And it won't be long
The skin on me is burning
By the fires of the sun
On skinned knees
I'm bleeding
And it won't be long
I've got to find that meaning
I'll search for so long..."

Sebastian & Keaira- "Merely Eternity's Memories"

Sebastian Michaelis

Wednesday, October 12, 2011 - 4:08 PM

It cannot be determined whether or not my fiance can recall the events of our past. And I wonder to myself quite frequently, are they simply old, raggedy, faded, contessa-scale Victorian-era memories, dead and gone along with the humans Ciel and I once came to know?

Perhaps it is somewhat unnatural for a devil to dwell even subconciously on mere memories. For, memories are but a thing of the past; things of yesterday; the power of humans' minds to remember the things in their short lives. What good are memories to a devil?

What good are they, at all, to the King of Hell?

What good comes to a devil, anyway?

Cinematic records, perhaps; as they determine a humans fate and pass his final judgement: Shall he enter the Almighty Kingdom or shall he become fuel for the Mighty Blaze, to be burned hollow with bloody rays? Cinematic records are moulded by memories, even for a demon.

Henceforth, memories must be of some importance. Does Ciel know that?

I know it. I just answered my own inquiry about it, and I do believe it sounds very logical, indeed.

What, may you ask, brought upon this thought, to myself? It really is a very simple conflincting thing, really. You see, last night, I encountered a child clad in a lovely little dress that seemed, at the least, fimiliar to me.

His name is Denzel.

Denzel informed me that Ciel had given him quite a load of old dresses. And, normally, I wouldn't mind that so much- save for the fact that Ciel had included within those dresses a very special dress- at least, it's special to me.

What made the matter worse is that Denzel also mentioned that, perhaps I should go and hide these dresses for some time, because his brother Bambi was determined to set them aflame.

Two words: Hell no. Not going to happen so long as I'm around.

No child will burn away my precious memories, woven so demurely and carefully within every very thread of that old mass of rose-coloured silk; so perfectly woven.

I asked Denzel if I could perhaps, get that dress back, and he said I could, and so I did, and now I do.

...I believe it would result in safer action if I was to hide this dress away for a while, because I know Ciel will call me childish for clinging to events of the past that I am certain he believes are not at all very special.

I have my reasons.

And I am not telling them.

Some thoughts are better kept within the mind of their beholder.

Keaira Dimitri Faustus

Dear Caru,

You have been asking me constantly.

You have been asking others.

Anyone you encounter, you ask them, even if they are some random, dirty old hobo with rotten teeth and a musky scent that clings so desperately to their skin and refuses to be washed away via any amount of soap, perfume, or lotion.

And I suppose, you need an answer.

Who was your father? Who was Claude? And how did he die?

It's a very long story; I do advise that you bear with me now; and be attentive to every inkling of detail, every word, every simile or metaphor, I will be using.

Let us begin.

***

Once upon a time,

I was born to the young Earl of Trancy and Malphas Mephisto (insert very long "maiden" surname here") out of wedlock; I was not meant to be. Malphas (and do keep in mind that his story is not at all a simple one; He was betrayed, raped, misled, envied; but he has already told you his story, I know), one day, took me away to my grandfather's old cottage; I was to be thrown in the old oven and consumed by its flames. But before he was granted that chance, he was taken away from us all.

He was persecuted. He was tortured. And he was killed.

On the third day, he rose again, in the form of an angel.

He returned.

I was allowed to live; I was wanted by both of my parents, and I was loved.

Time passed, and Malphas and Alois married, and during that time, my father and I formed a very strong bond; and such can never be broken.

I never considered outside forces until the day I met Aranis- the son of Sebastian Michaelis and Ciel Phantomhive.

We fell in love, but that love soon fell apart.

Aranis pursued others; Mello, and even Sebastian- his father. Did he not consider me? Did he really think it was okay to go and break my heart without so much as a second thought?

I knew what he had done, but I could not tell him off, for, I had raped Cambion- who at the time, was a truly heartless demon; I did it only to put him in his place, for I am a lion, and such is natural behaviour.

What hurt the most was knowing he pursued these two other men with the potential of giving them his love. Even today, he claims he was blinded.

Indeed he was, and he very well still is. He is my friend, but I cannot trust him.

Funny, isn't it?

There was a time I sacrificed myself for him, because I could not take it any more; I ran away to New York and I stayed there until I was sixteen. That is four years.

When I returned, I had changed; I had tried drugs, smoking, alcohol.

When I returned, I paid a visit to Aranis before anyone else.

When I returned, the first thing I told him was that I didn't love him any more.

That night, he killed himself; he tore his heart out; Cambion was with him and was powerless to save him.

And, what of Claude?

Claude was the Trancy family butler, diligent and stoic- he became my friend and my favourite subject when it came to my art. His eyes were much like yours, Caru- golden, profound, breathtaking...

He was my best friend.

When I cried, he'd wipe away all of my tears.

When I'd scream, he'd fight away all of my fears.

And he held my hand through all of those years, and you are the sole thing of his that remains; the crystalized treasure of our love.

Though in my childhood I was often composed, I was still a child, and with being a child comes along the desire of childish revenge.

I was thirteen when I learned of Aranis's affair with Sebastian.

Angry, I went home and decided I should seduce Claude as a form of revenge, for, I had (for quite some time) recognised the looks in which the spider regarded me with; like a succulant fly tangled and writhing in his web.

That happened and we denied for a period of time that feelings had formed.

I came to love him, and I no longer loved Aranis.

Claude was what I wanted and needed. He considered my feelings. He could take care of himself. He was reasonable. He was smart. He was wonderful...

Meanwhile, Alois was watching everything unfold from afar and decided he did not like my relationship with his butler, a lowly servant, unpredictable and antisocial.

Do you want to know something, Caru? I was Claude's only friend. No one cared to understand him but me. They prejudged him. And now, they say they are sorry he is dead.

Lies.

My poor Claude... Alois made him choose between being a butler and his love for me.

Claude chose me.

He stayed with me and held me and saved my life, when I learned of Aranis's death and blamed myself, and attempted suicide because I simply felt I did not deserve to live. I killed him, I thought...

I was inconsiderate of Claude's own feelings. I overdid my mourning of Aranis. He felt insuffient, and he would always tell me.

And I would always tell him, Don't you dare even think that; I love you, and only you, and no one else. You are the only one who really cares about me and my thoughts and I can tell you anything. And you can tell me anything, because I won't judge you. And secrets don't need to be kept between us, because we are one, and we always shall be. I do love you; and I love us.

Aurelei was born to us later on, and she was a lovely child until she learned Claude was pregnant for a second time.

She became jealous and manipulated seemingly everything so that she could convince Claude he had miscarried.

I cannot begin to describe to you her hatred for him.

It resulted in her insulting him to the point of death.

I killed myself immediately, but was brought back to life three days later by Gabriel.

And the first thing I did was get my revenge.

...
Violence isn't the answer; It is the question.

And the answer is yes!

-Love, Keaira.

Group Blog- Their Stories

Sebastian Michaelis

A singular set of pristine, vermillion orbs did not dare stray from the furry creature of their utmost fancy; a little tabby cat with lithe paws and a slender coat, and such gorgeous eyes that regarded the orbs with such wit and whim.

Sebastian gracefully cascaded to one knee on the cobblestone pavement that was placed just outside the newly rebuilt manor-house, and took the fimiliar feline in his arms and pressed his nose lightly to her little pink button one. His lips tugged into a soft smile, and he lifted her up into the air somewhat so as to admire her.

"Hello, again, Miss Akuma."

She acknowledged his greeting with a curt mewl and squirmed so that he might let her down to lay in his lap for a short cat-nap of sorts.

This was the same cat Ciel had presented him with prior to their Honeymoon, and he had raised her as if she was his own child (though, none of his own children had ever clawed up a curtain (imported from Spain) before), spoiling her with plenty of cuddles and treats and ribbons and bows. It was no wonder Ciel was noticably jealous of her; on the bright side, Sebastian knew (and a cheeky grin graced his lips each time he thought this) that he could use this as an advantage to get his lover's attention.

Ciel would often quip, "Why do you love cats so damn much? It's simply unnatural! There is nothing speciel about them at all."

Little did he know how very special Sebastian really did consider them to be.

In fact, he had not always liked cats; So arrogant, snobbish, unthankful! Unnerving, annoying, and always...

Always wanting more.

No, he had not always loved cats.

But, once upon a time- the winter of 1885, in London, England- he came to form a contract with a young Earl, frail in appearance, yet strong in spirit. He took up residency with the Earl at his manor. But never before had he even come close to thinking that a solitary month in captivity would erode even the most basic of manners! This child Earl would smack him for even the slightest of gestures, such as attempting to help him up the stairs. Why, he ought to have been thankful, especially when his depth perception was non-existence (hence the eyepatch guarding the Faustian seal etched within his right iris)!

And once upon a time, the butler had stepped out of the house in frustration with his young master, and he happened upon a little black cat. And when it seemed that no one else would so much as care to hear out his frustrations (thought often the cat would regard him with an expression that implied she thought no different) she was there, and she would listen to him- though in truth, she was but waiting for him to feed her.

Cats, Sebastian soon learned, are viciously playful and playfull vicious.They are prone to illogical when they feel frightened or bodily threatened.  They are schemers, and tacticians, unashamed of conspiring against you, even as they feed from the very palm of your hand... They require the proper amount of patience, the proper amount of care- But they will never be tamed no matter your will, and that is the beauty of them.

And in those eyes, he never failed to realise a fimiliar sparkle of intelligence; a sadistic delight in the destruction it knows it can cause even with the few assets it has at its disposal.

So fimiliar...

Time did pass, and Sebastian came to better understand Ciel with the help of a certain little whimsical friend.

Still, he does not expect Ciel to understand him; for such are all his precious little secrets to keep hidden beneath lock and key, all for himself; all the mystery of a demon's love.


Keaira Dimitri Faustus

His lips pressed into a straight line and his gaze came to fixate on nothing less, and nothing more, than the ruins of his grandfather's old cottage (in which he had recently come to obtain and take up residence in along with his son and younger brother), marred to musky brown ashes and dull silver cinders and blackened splintered wood. The grizzled body of a burnt wolf lay sprawled beneath the remains of the kitchen table, its flesh oozing unatrually where it had been seared. This was no "whodoneit"; there were only two names that came to mind and the very thought of such an alliance sickened Keaira to an unspeakable extent.

How dare they?

When his brother- Cambion- had come foward and inquired the identity of these people, Keaira insisted that he knew nothing and simply pushed the small boy's quip aside, or, rather, attempted to.

Upon the following day, Keaira came to the discovery that there had been a casualty; Cambion blamed himself, for, he had been the primary target, and he had been missed. And now, someone whom he had regarded so dearly had to pay the ultimate price because he had not been there in her place; Woe was he, in all his childish ignorance.

And perhaps Keaira grieved the same loss, as well, but if he did, he decided not to show it, for such was his responsibility to remain aloof for the sake of his dearly beloved brother and Caru, his sickly son. However, as is a characteristic of Keaira, it did not take long for his emotional strength to bend and bow, bend and bow, bend and bow...

Certain actions cannot be prevented.

Certain lives cannot be saved.

Certain thoughts cannnot be erased.

What you already know and take heed to cannot be unknown.

And what you plan to do about it is primarily up to you. 

Someone must pay.

Gabriel Day Keehl

He lay with his legs wrapped tightly around the lithe body of the older man, his body trembling from the wave of fear that had just washed upon the shore of his very soul. Ah... The fingers... They hurt... It hurt... Every thrust, every tug, every pull, push, every little movement... A-ah...

"Aranis..." Gabriel whimpered constantly, and there would come the soft murmur of a response from Aranis immediately after, a reassurance.

And then Aranis would draw his digits from his dear friend's backside and pull down his own pants and pull Gabriel close so that their flesh would collide and they would become one. Oh! How Gabriel wished to scream, the pain was unbearable! Oh, but it felt so good...

"W-what is this called, Aranis?" he had asked, writhing and grinding his hips against the man's, his dark eyes stretched wide in innocence.

"Sex. Making love. Fucking." said Aranis.

And Gabriel contemplated this.

Aranis had reiterated the same three words to him that day, over and over and over again and again and again. Gabriel thought it only added on to the mystery behind those red eyes- all the lies, all the hurt, all the fear and the pain- for, he knew, they reflected his own spirit. Aranis didn't have to love him, he didn't have to lie; there was nothing to hide, and Gabriel, the angel, in all his ignorance and innocence and disbelief of unscientific things, realised but that, and just that.

Sex. Making love. Fucking.

Unnecessary copulation; They could simply spark, and never have to touch; This love had been perfect even before it was love; it was most certainly meant to be, the most certain thing in all existence. And Gabriel knew it, even if Aranis believed otherwise due to his own paranoia. It was, indeed, a fact.

...We are one, Aranis.

Jazebel Keehl

Her lithe paw drifted away from the child's hand as his mother carried him off, their digits lingering in suspension for what seemed to be four long years, never wanting to let go. But distance did tear them apart in the solitary time of a moment, and the door leading to the outside world that was drowned in all the glorious golden light of the sun was closed, leaving the wolf in her own solitude, alone in the bitter darkness and silence of the old cottage. For minutes, she stood unblinking with her gaze fixated on that closed door, and then she sat on her hindquarters and huffed at the silver door-knob, glistening in such a mocking manner that she felt the urge to become ill.

Only moments ago, Caru lay sleeping in his cherry-wood crib, sound asleep with the softest of snores whistling through his rosy lips; her paw had stretched out to rest upon his clammy little forehead, and she had sighed at the touch of it and came to establish some greatly yearned-for form of relief. His fever had broken, and her job, her every responsibility here, every aspect, facet of it all, was nearing completion, fulfillment, reconcile.

She llay her long neck across the hard wooden edge of Caru's crib and let her head hand, her ghostly pale eyes diligently watching over him and never once shifting astray. Though he was not her child, he was her duty now, and she loved him so dearly. When Keaira returned (he greeted her with a pat to the head) to take him away to visit that horrid Alois, he had awoken and reached out his stout little arm for her, and only her, and she had trotted along after him with her tongue lolling out the side of her mouth.

"Jazz, bye-bye," he had cried. "I love you!"

And now he was gone.

She stood from her post before the door and stalked with protruding shoulder-blades beneath the table, squeezed cozily within the legs of a chair. Her forelimbs laid out in front of her, she laid her lead down on her paws and shut her eyes, and drifted into a deep sleep.

"I won't ever love anyone but Keaira."

"I'll never feel the same way."

"Bad dog, Jazz."

Cambion...

He had been her first friend, and her master, and her one and only love. Only he had understood her. Only he had cared for her. Only he, him, Cambion... No one else. Just him. Alone.

Alone.

Alone now that he had fallen in love with his brother. Alone now that she had given her voice to bring L back how and could not speak. Alone because she meant nothing to anyone now; she was old news, a female, a whore, a thief, a murderer, a liar. A bitch.

How could she let him go? He was her only hope as he had always been. He was all she had now.

But what was there to be had when you felt so alone in this vast world?

Absolutely nothing. Nothing, no one, Jazebel.

This is who she was, if anything. She had tried so hard but got nowhere. She had loved but was not loved in return. She had cared but was disregarded. She did not hate, but she was hated.

And when she came to abandon hope in her very sleep, there was a violent shake of the earth, and her eyes flashed open and saw the red of spider-lillies engulfing her view, and then there was the sound of loud thunder in which was followed by blackness, and then nothing, and she fell dead.

And such is the end of the story of Nothing, if such a thing does even exist; for such things always come so unexpectedly.

Keaira- "Never Far"

"Put all your angels on the edge
Keep all the roses, I’m not dead
I left a thorn under your bed
I’m never gone

Go tell the World I’m still around
I didn’t fly, I’m coming down
You are the wind, the only sound
Whisper to my heart
When hope is torn apart
And no one can save you!"

I'm back and kickin' all right.

But so far, it's not been good; it's been shitty and so have I. Yeah, me. I'm on too many narcotics to keep up with, and now I can't even remember just why I am, anyway. Hell, I don't know why I do half the things I do anymore, or say, or think, or even mould into the form of an idea. Tell me, why am I even writing this?

Doesn't matter if no one hears me out. I don't really care, honestly. Heh~ Look what I've become. What am I worth? You're all entitled to your own opinions. So make some.

I dare you.


"I walk alone
Every step I take
I walk alone
My winter storm
Holding me awake
It’s never gone
When I walk alone

Go back to sleep forevermore
Far from your fools and lock the door
They’re all around and they’ll make sure
You don’t have to see
What I turned out to be
No one can help you!"

Well, Aranis. Hah! Why'd ya have to love me? Do you really think I deserve all that you have to offer? Why do you even think of me? Ever? Move on. Just don't do it in the way that I have.

I'm a crackhead. I'm a pedophile. I'm in love with my little brother. Or at least, I think I am. I feel I am. But what do I know? I mean, look how well love has worked out for me before! And who screws it all up? Me. Gee, I wonder why. I strive for impossible, ridiculous things. I'm too out there. My mind is too open. And so is my heart, in certain areas; whereas, in others, it is completely walled up and blocked off. Fuck, the damn think dun even beat anymore! I can't feel cold, nor warmth. I can't feel physical things much at all. So how, with this dead heart of mine, can I even have emotions?

Who am I to know?

"I walk alone
Every step I take
I walk alone
My winter storm
Holding me awake
It’s never gone
When I walk alone

Waiting up in heaven
I was never far from you
Spinning down I felt your every move!"

Cambion.

I'm sorry. Know that.

I've wronged you almost as much as I have wronged poor Aranis. I only hope you can forgive me; I won't come around as often, I don't think, for your sake. Because, I'm afraid now of hurting people. And at the same time, I don't care if I hurt them. I suppose it really makes sense; If I acknowledge that I don't care, why do I bother sticking around? What good is an arrogant prick like me gonna do for this place? There are enough problems here as it is. But I care. So I'll limit my time around you guys and be on my best behaviour when I am around you.

You've cared through all of this- all my mistakes and ill-minded thoughts and actions. And you... don't stop. You just care so much, therefore, I care about you. To be honest, I've lost quite a bit of respect for Aranis, of all people. Because he says he doesn't care. I don't care if he doesn't care about me, but it seems he doesn't care about anything. And that really bothers me. You have to care to lead a life worth living. You have to care about something. And if you do- you're making a good person out of yourself. Live, laugh, love... Yeah. That's how it goes.

If you need me, I've taken up residence at Lach and Tsumi's old cottage. No one likes going there anymore. So that's why I chose to live there. I've taken all my money and art from the flat in Kensington, and I'm doing good. I'm gonna get myself a nice job, too. I had about ten interviews today. I'm lucky; didn't think anyone would hire me, even consider employing me, what with my looks and all. I'm a bloody... demonic zombie. Yup, that about sums me up. Well, shit. No one's gonna change me now. Maybe they can teach me, and maybe I'll learn- but that doesn't change who I am or will be or must be.

Why?

'Cause I'm Keaira, that's why. And if you don't care for me, hey- fuck off. Heh~!

"I walk alone

I walk alone
Every step I take
I walk alone
My winter storm
Holding me awake
It's never gone
When I walk alone~"