Nameless- The Last Day of Gabriel

Depression is a selfish state of being, Gabriel. If that is so, what does that make suicide? Beyond selfish. But you are not beyond selfish, thanks to me...

Depression occurs when a person feels out of place in the world: They may have lost loved ones. They may have witnessed or experienced inhumane things. The may be suffering heartbreak. They may suffer from regret of past actions. Or they may just be lonely.

And time shall drag on for them, slowly, but quickly enough for the little white clouds in the blue sky to turn black and sullen with rain and storm. Depression occurs when one loses their place, and strays from their true path of fate.

People will go out of their way to provide charity for others, but the truth in life is that- the meaning of life is to discover oneself; One cannot be a stranger to themselves, lest they become hollow and lack meaning. One cannot travel through life wondering "Who am I?" and expect constant happiness and peace of mind.

Hell, no one can expect constant happiness and peace of mind, but when you dwell on that fact, you become depressed. Life is all about survival of the fittest- people strive to get to the top, even if it means sacrificing others. When a person loses determination to survive they are thrown to the bottom of the mass population and they are crushed like some disgusting insect.

Look at that simile again: Like an insect. Why not "like a person?" Because people are not made to be crushed (not to say that insects are, either, but I assume you get the point).

When a person becomes crushed... well, they sit on a bench in a sleepy old park with lighting akin to a Burtonesque film with an empty black suitcase, and they stare off with the lifeless, glazed moonstones that should only be possessed by those who have passed on. The lamp ahead glows a soft yellow before flickering for a good twenty seconds, and then giving out. The fog waltzes across the dehydrated grass, aimlessly and uncertainly, in a manner that implies a great struggle of the mind (and of course, fog is mindless). Why does this scene look so familiar to me?

Months ago, I looked like the angel upon that dull, wooden bench. It was his father who had come to my rescue and made me rise from my seat, so that I may go in search of new hope. But how could I offer hope to Gabriel, after all he had done?

The child was born and given away because his parents did not want him. He was left (and I cannot remember the order...) in the Trancy gardens and found by Cambion and Jazebel, his half-sister. Jazebel, by order of her master, Cambion, burned the solitary word "Vermin" into the infant's side. He was taken in by Malphas and Alois and raised with Luca. Beneath the manor, the child grew and developed a scientific laboratory, where he would invent endless contraptions out of boredom. By twelve, he had a job at a bakery on the east end, where he met and was rejected by his father. He also met Aranis- a son of my king- and had relations with him, gradually falling in love. He moved into an apartment with Aranis and aged to sixteen...

Aranis quite likes children, and I should know, because he has taken advantage my my own son, Denzel, before, and I shall never forgive him for that. Aranis would go between children, Keaira, and who knows what else... And then there was Gabriel, who had once said "I don't want you to love me; just use me as you will." regretting his words.Tensions would tighten between he and Aranis, and he would leave, and return, then leave again... Only to return, of course.

Last time Gabriel left Aranis, it was in a vengeful huff, and the hatred for both demons and humans had, like poison ivy, come to wrap itself around the angel's heart in a smothering embrace. It made him itch for revenge (no pun intended, hence the poison ivy). He was rejected by all whom he had come to love, rejected or betrayed: His mother, father, sister, brother, lover, boss (he got fired at some point, I believe), tc. Bet he was even betrayed by Ajax. I suppose the only people who supported him were Malphas, Luca, and Alois- who are all annoyances and obviously were not of much help. Geez, what a tragedy.

Overcome by his hatred, Gabriel took charge of Heaven's angels and led them to war with Hell. With a virus he developed and released on earth, he wiped out a forth of the human population- also about the same amount of devils were killed off, as well. Approximately sixteen demons were captured and imprisoned in Heaven- two of those devils include Caru and Nemo- Denzel's boyfriend and son (also my grandson). Caru was raped at a max of thirty times by the guards who kept watch over him. At thirteen, he is now severely  traumatized. Nemo was experimented on and was sick for about a week after he was freed by Johanna, the only angel I will admit that I like.

When the war met its end, Gabriel, twenty, basically turned himself in to Sebastian, but was bailed out by Aranis. The  pair fled to the U.S. and ended up in Texas where they resided for a few weeks in peace, before Aranis decided it would be a good idea to kidnap Denzel and bring him over for a visit.

Denzel, of course, was terrified of Gabriel after learning all that he had done, and Gabriel left the house (and Denzel and Aranis alone together, damn him!) in hopes of making my son feel more comfortable.From what I understand, he promised Aranis he would return.

He did keep that promise, you see...

He looked up at me, from the bench, his fingers running through his hair and his dull eyes suddenly taking on the appearance of misery- the same look you could get from a little dog at the pound who can't seem to find a good home, and keeps getting returned and sent back to the same old hell hole. Is that what I looked like?

We acknowledged each other by saying the other's name, and I made my way over with a smirk and ill-intent; the closer I got to him, the more I could feel that pitiful energy that he was giving off, and I loved it. He wanted to die, and the smirk I possessed formed because I knew this. Death is a lie; this I know. And it would be for him, as well.

He would then quickly proceed to ask me to kill him, and I agreed without any questions. He should have been dead weeks ago, already, and he could sense my amusement, although he could not guess what I thought was so funny. I did not want to deal with Aranis coming after me, however, nor did I want Denzel to figure out what I had done. Gabriel suggested that I made it look like a suicide, because at least the theory would be believable.

I have no problem with committing murder, as I possess no fingerprints, and virtually no individual DNA; if you were to run a strand of my hair or a sample of my saliva through a scanner of some sort, it would not be able to identify me; but instead take on the identity of a person near me. So, let's say, if I left a strand of hair behind at the scene after killing Gabriel- if tested, it would be identified as his hair. Lucky me, hm?

That aside... Gabriel led me to his and Aranis's house on the outskirts of the town and then into his room (why he has a room separate from Aranis, I fail to understand). His death was a boring one- he was silent and did not appear to be in any pain. I clawed a hole in his chest and set his heart aflame, and he crumpled to the floor like a wooden puppet and continued to burn in the silence. All that trouble to kill an angel, and he doesn't even complain the tiniest bit. If anything, he was probably planning his death anyway, and my guess is that his little suitcase is not at all empty. That suitcase is now in Sebastian's possession, and only he and Johanna know what its contents are.

Demons and Angels have their own sort of soul; if they "die", they are usually sent to what is called Utopia; the promised land, the final resting place of all that has ever existed. However- due to Gabriel's past actions, his judgement was passed by Sebastian.

Between Utopia and Hell, I am certain we can all guess where that angel resides... He has now taken on the appearance of his soul in all its misery and if he can be identified, I'll be damned.

I am aware that the details of Gabriel's death that I have given have been quite vague- but if you do want to know more, I'll be glad to tell you- If you can figure out what I have done, that is~

He'll show up again eventually, for this is only the mark of a new beginning...

Nameless

I live now only for my children: Bambi, Denzel, and Dyfri, and for no other reason.

Romantic love, I have come to believe, does not last forever, because forever is a very long time. But the love a mother has for her (or his) children is of the undying sort. The love for another person romantically, however, always does die in time- particularly if you happen to fall in love with a dumbass or a human, or both.

Do pardon my language.

My mother did not have the time to raise me, so much as give me a name. I am sure that in some way he cared about me- but it does not matter now. He would come and go as he pleased, and I was left to my father and Skye...

What bugs me now is that Skye has all a person could ask for when he does not deserve it. He has a handsome, loving husband, and two beautiful children with that man. He is loved, yet he goes off and sleeps with me anyway- Note that he does not remember who I was. He talked for me for five minutes and then started making moves on me. How am I the whore? I started nothing. I just agreed to help him become miserable. If not for our children together or Elias, I would kill him, and make him so miserable that he would have to fade. But Elias deserves no more misery- and certainly not the kind that I suffered through.

He was never the "bad guy", stealing Skye away from me. It was all Skye. I am still hoping that Elias can change him, make him realise that what he does is wrong. It upsets me when he does stupid things because he tends to hurt others while doing them. I would like him to actually learn how to think things through. That would make me so happy, perhaps happy enough to drag me out of this depression that I cannot ever seem to escape.

I suppose I am a whore, though- ...At this point, I will sleep with anyone, just for a kick, because to love, or make love, is utter bullshit. Who will come to me next?

Keaira

...I have not seen anyone but Echo and Johanna in the past... five days. I don't even know where Cambion is, and I am getting more lonely than horny. I hate this time of year. He is probably avoiding me. It's unfair. I want to cuddle him. I'm going to cry. I hate suffering alone. I hate being alone! Damn it. Cambionnnnnn. Where are youuuu? Dx I need... alone time... with youuuu... Please? D:

Johanna

Mum dyed my hair black. I came across Nemo yesterday, and he failed to recognise me. I was rather hoping it would remain that way, but it didn't. I have never met someone so infuriating as he, but I think I am doing a better job between the two of us of being annoying, which, for me, is good. I honestly don't care what he thinks. He speaks bullshit quite fluently- I think I will have a talk with Denzel about his lying habits. I would love to see Nemo get told off, he really is such a chld (then again, he was raised by children). He calls me a pest, because I am a dragon fly. The only pest I am aware exists is him.

I am currently working on a top secret case... It really feels quite cheesy working as a special agent, but I suppose someone has to do it. It also is quite entertaining, anyway, so I am not really complaining... Perhaps I will be allowed to share details sooner or later.

I wonder how Levi is doing? Last I heard, he is with Eliphas... Not that I mind. I can understand that. I think I will go see him again soon... I wonder if he will recognise me?

Sebastian

Nemo gave me a kitten. So now I have two babies to take care of- and one more name to choose. I hope I am able to attend work tomorrow because this spending all day laying around and doing nothing is really quite irritating. Perhaps I will get Denzel to babysit for me as long as he refrains from dressing Nikola up like a girl...

Ulixes came to be the other day in tears- I had always noticed that there was a place on his face that looked as if there were eyes just dying to be revealed, and now they have been... I never thought he would actually have any (and I wonder if the ones he had on the palms of his hands are still there?). That aside, he told me that Riley had tried to commit suicide. I will have to have a serious talk with that idiot soon...

Nemo says my facial features are cute. I do not approve. I wonder what Ciel thinks? I will have to ask him later... Speaking of which, the day I delivered Nikola, he suggested that he and I be "swingers". I didn't answer him. I figured he would ask this question eventually- but this seems a bit sudden. Perhaps we should test it out... But I really would rather not. I don't like anyone else touching him. He is mine. I worked too hard to make him mine. He is mine. I am far too possessive...

Good, then- what else should be expected of the devil, after all?~