Sebastian Michaelis
Wednesday, October 12, 2011 - 4:08 PM
It cannot be determined whether or not my fiance can recall the events of our past. And I wonder to myself quite frequently, are they simply old, raggedy, faded, contessa-scale Victorian-era memories, dead and gone along with the humans Ciel and I once came to know?
Perhaps it is somewhat unnatural for a devil to dwell even subconciously on mere memories. For, memories are but a thing of the past; things of yesterday; the power of humans' minds to remember the things in their short lives. What good are memories to a devil?
What good are they, at all, to the King of Hell?
What good comes to a devil, anyway?
Cinematic records, perhaps; as they determine a humans fate and pass his final judgement: Shall he enter the Almighty Kingdom or shall he become fuel for the Mighty Blaze, to be burned hollow with bloody rays? Cinematic records are moulded by memories, even for a demon.
Henceforth, memories must be of some importance. Does Ciel know that?
I know it. I just answered my own inquiry about it, and I do believe it sounds very logical, indeed.
What, may you ask, brought upon this thought, to myself? It really is a very simple conflincting thing, really. You see, last night, I encountered a child clad in a lovely little dress that seemed, at the least, fimiliar to me.
His name is Denzel.
Denzel informed me that Ciel had given him quite a load of old dresses. And, normally, I wouldn't mind that so much- save for the fact that Ciel had included within those dresses a very special dress- at least, it's special to me.
What made the matter worse is that Denzel also mentioned that, perhaps I should go and hide these dresses for some time, because his brother Bambi was determined to set them aflame.
Two words: Hell no. Not going to happen so long as I'm around.
No child will burn away my precious memories, woven so demurely and carefully within every very thread of that old mass of rose-coloured silk; so perfectly woven.
I asked Denzel if I could perhaps, get that dress back, and he said I could, and so I did, and now I do.
...I believe it would result in safer action if I was to hide this dress away for a while, because I know Ciel will call me childish for clinging to events of the past that I am certain he believes are not at all very special.
I have my reasons.
And I am not telling them.
Some thoughts are better kept within the mind of their beholder.
Keaira Dimitri Faustus
Dear Caru,
You have been asking me constantly.
You have been asking others.
Anyone you encounter, you ask them, even if they are some random, dirty old hobo with rotten teeth and a musky scent that clings so desperately to their skin and refuses to be washed away via any amount of soap, perfume, or lotion.
And I suppose, you need an answer.
Who was your father? Who was Claude? And how did he die?
It's a very long story; I do advise that you bear with me now; and be attentive to every inkling of detail, every word, every simile or metaphor, I will be using.
Let us begin.
***
Once upon a time,
I was born to the young Earl of Trancy and Malphas Mephisto (insert very long "maiden" surname here") out of wedlock; I was not meant to be. Malphas (and do keep in mind that his story is not at all a simple one; He was betrayed, raped, misled, envied; but he has already told you his story, I know), one day, took me away to my grandfather's old cottage; I was to be thrown in the old oven and consumed by its flames. But before he was granted that chance, he was taken away from us all.
He was persecuted. He was tortured. And he was killed.
On the third day, he rose again, in the form of an angel.
He returned.
I was allowed to live; I was wanted by both of my parents, and I was loved.
Time passed, and Malphas and Alois married, and during that time, my father and I formed a very strong bond; and such can never be broken.
I never considered outside forces until the day I met Aranis- the son of Sebastian Michaelis and Ciel Phantomhive.
We fell in love, but that love soon fell apart.
Aranis pursued others; Mello, and even Sebastian- his father. Did he not consider me? Did he really think it was okay to go and break my heart without so much as a second thought?
I knew what he had done, but I could not tell him off, for, I had raped Cambion- who at the time, was a truly heartless demon; I did it only to put him in his place, for I am a lion, and such is natural behaviour.
What hurt the most was knowing he pursued these two other men with the potential of giving them his love. Even today, he claims he was blinded.
Indeed he was, and he very well still is. He is my friend, but I cannot trust him.
Funny, isn't it?
There was a time I sacrificed myself for him, because I could not take it any more; I ran away to New York and I stayed there until I was sixteen. That is four years.
When I returned, I had changed; I had tried drugs, smoking, alcohol.
When I returned, I paid a visit to Aranis before anyone else.
When I returned, the first thing I told him was that I didn't love him any more.
That night, he killed himself; he tore his heart out; Cambion was with him and was powerless to save him.
And, what of Claude?
Claude was the Trancy family butler, diligent and stoic- he became my friend and my favourite subject when it came to my art. His eyes were much like yours, Caru- golden, profound, breathtaking...
He was my best friend.
When I cried, he'd wipe away all of my tears.
When I'd scream, he'd fight away all of my fears.
And he held my hand through all of those years, and you are the sole thing of his that remains; the crystalized treasure of our love.
Though in my childhood I was often composed, I was still a child, and with being a child comes along the desire of childish revenge.
I was thirteen when I learned of Aranis's affair with Sebastian.
Angry, I went home and decided I should seduce Claude as a form of revenge, for, I had (for quite some time) recognised the looks in which the spider regarded me with; like a succulant fly tangled and writhing in his web.
That happened and we denied for a period of time that feelings had formed.
I came to love him, and I no longer loved Aranis.
Claude was what I wanted and needed. He considered my feelings. He could take care of himself. He was reasonable. He was smart. He was wonderful...
Meanwhile, Alois was watching everything unfold from afar and decided he did not like my relationship with his butler, a lowly servant, unpredictable and antisocial.
Do you want to know something, Caru? I was Claude's only friend. No one cared to understand him but me. They prejudged him. And now, they say they are sorry he is dead.
Lies.
My poor Claude... Alois made him choose between being a butler and his love for me.
Claude chose me.
He stayed with me and held me and saved my life, when I learned of Aranis's death and blamed myself, and attempted suicide because I simply felt I did not deserve to live. I killed him, I thought...
I was inconsiderate of Claude's own feelings. I overdid my mourning of Aranis. He felt insuffient, and he would always tell me.
And I would always tell him, Don't you dare even think that; I love you, and only you, and no one else. You are the only one who really cares about me and my thoughts and I can tell you anything. And you can tell me anything, because I won't judge you. And secrets don't need to be kept between us, because we are one, and we always shall be. I do love you; and I love us.
Aurelei was born to us later on, and she was a lovely child until she learned Claude was pregnant for a second time.
She became jealous and manipulated seemingly everything so that she could convince Claude he had miscarried.
I cannot begin to describe to you her hatred for him.
It resulted in her insulting him to the point of death.
I killed myself immediately, but was brought back to life three days later by Gabriel.
And the first thing I did was get my revenge.
...
Violence isn't the answer; It is the question.
And the answer is yes!
-Love, Keaira.
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