RP Blog One

Note: This blog is exclusively for the characters I RP. I will write these as often as possible instead of spamming dA with them. >.>' I will choose characters at random depending on who is being victimized with the most drama at the time these are posted. Let us begin, shall we?

-Sebastian Michaelis-

I come to despise each passing day with a burning passion. Yes, the more time wears on, the more enraged I become. In fact, if the Apocalypse does indeed occur, I ensure everyone I will be the cause of it.

I will admit, in the beginning, when you were reincarnated into a demon by Hannah, I blamed you. I hated you with a horrible, putrid passion that burned deep within me. I thought of the blackest oaths I could and applied them to you with every breath I heard escape those tiny nostrils of yours. But, one night- a very rare night where I found the fatigue enough to fall into a deep sleep- I dreamt, and watched as you sat there, on the monochrome checkered tiles of the manor's foyer, and sunk your needle-sharp fangs within your wrist; sat watching the blood trickle down your deathly pale arm. I watched as you cried when you saw the wound healing, and the blood disappearing. I realized then that you wanted this no more than I did. As a raped and emotionally scarred human child, you had wanted to die, even during our time together as master and servant, earl and butler, dog and bitch. The impact of you living for eternity not only affected me, but you as well. You would never get your "eternal peace," as you humans believe. Instead, you must hide away in the shadows and the ominous darkness, forever magnificent, forever youthful, and forever tormented by your oh so tragic past. It was then that I vowed I would give you a reason for living forever, a reason, I thought, to make you smile...

After that night, all I could think about when I thought of you was what I had done to you. Not what Claude, Alois, and Hannah had done, but what I myself had done. I condemned you to this eternal life, I treated you inhumanly. And now when you slap me and punish me, I like it (I complain, yes, I know, but only so that I may misguide you- for these are my true feelings), for it feels as if I am paying for my crimes against you.

What has become of us now, my only love?


-Lecea Seleby Michaelis-Phantomhive-

I am very disappointed with myself.

I really let my Bambi down...

I let my Daddy touch me, 'cause, I didn't want him to get angry with me and not like me anymore. I don't know why he did it in particular, really. I never expected him to and certainly did not want him to. To be frank, it disgusted me to an extent.

I suppose my logic wasn't very logical after all... But what was I to do?

I told Bambi, and I could tell he was extremely upset, although he obviously tried to play it off. I ended up getting so angry- Because, I thought, perhaps he was thinking I was choosing my daddy over him- that I threw a roll of duct tape at him and smashed his precious little music box to shards.

Of course, I felt immensely guilty and fixed it right away... And when I finished, he ran back up to his room, choking back sobs.

Left alone, I let my anger boil over until one of my legs shoot out from beneath me and kick at the wall. And the next thing I knew, I heard myself shriek and I fell to the ground below.

I was, at the moment, numb to any pain. What I was feeling in my heart was what hurt the most. But when Bambi asked me what was hurting me, my pride got the better of me, and I just could not admit that to him.

Bambi heard and raced down to try and help me. But I didn't want him to see me hurt, so I told him to go away. I realise now, pushing him away was a genuinely stupid option.

I am supposed to be strong, but I am indeed very fragile. What has occured has proven just that. This is where I have gone wrong; I've lost my one and only friend somewhere along in this bitterness, and...

Regret has no place in this life of mine. The only salvation can be found in the-

I tried to climb back upstairs to my room. What a mistake- I made it nearly to the very top and then went tumbling all the way back down.

I am more than certain my whole left leg is fractured. Shattered, actually.

Sweet Satan, I beg of you, do not let my beloved Bambi hear my sobs... Anything but that, I would get on my hands and knees, do not reveal to him this weakness...

I want to die, because I do not want to look back on all the past mistakes I have made; I wish time could stop moving foward so that there would be no regrets to look back on. But, doesn't everyone wish that? Aside the fact I am immortal, I cannot die because I sitll have some lingering hope that everything will get better in time.

I cannot- I refuse- to simply give up.

I love Bambi immensely. I do not care if I am but ten years of age. Supposedly, no one knows what love truly is, henceforth, who is anyone to tell me I do not know I love my Bambi?

I know. And I will never stop acknowledging that fact, even if- perhaps when- he does.

I only wish I could tell him this to his face. Yes, I would take all the shame and blame to my grave if I was not immortal.

Thus, I am doomed to live for eternity...


-Malphas Mephisto Trancy-

I.

Am.

A.

[Insert insult here.]

I told Alois he did not appeal to me as much as he used to, simply because I was uncomfortable- if not, angry- with the fact he is going on a one month love-making strike. And for what? To prove to Ciel that it can indeed be accomplished.

I feels like it has been a month already, when it has really been three weeks. Probably due to the fact he has already attempted to do this prior...

And I ruined it because I am a complete failure of a husband.

So not only did I say I did not find him appealing because I was upset, but because I was trying to divert my thoughts and grow accustomed to the idea for myself.

Sex isn't important to me for any real perverted reason. It simply makes me feel close to my husband. They say it creates the strongest bond two people can possess... I miss the warmth of his body. I miss being one with him. For me, it has never been about just loving him- but about loving us. And when we are one, we are "us". Malphas and Alois. Together.

I miss us.

I miss him.

It is not as if he had truly gone anywhere, however...

He turned up drunk at the Phantomhive estate the other day with a stab wound to a leg. Apparently, he had vexed Sebastian to such an extent and had gone so far as to try to seduce him- And so, viola! Silverware ninja. I grew oh so very jealous when I heard my husband was running to another person for sex. My husband. Mine...!

Alois already has a thing for my own mother, and now Sebastian? This is a joke, yes? No, of course it isn't. Nothing ever seems to be a nice, innocent joke around here.

I feel I have been far too tolerant with Alois. I don't care if he says I am overreacting. Does he not care that I love h im? He wants everyone to love him in this same way, and I suddenly don't feel as special anymore.

Marriage means nothing to people these days.

All the shameful things I have done, simply to please him, hoping stupidly that he would think more of me.

That tolerant Malphas is no more.

R.I.P.

When we arrived home, I refused to heal his wound, and told him that he was going to have to suffer awhile and let it heal itself. Hence, no more cheating his way out of physical pain.

I treated it with peroxide and gauze and such, of course... I am not so careless.

Alois, why do I see this wall being buit up between us suddenly? ...Built up around me? If I do not excape their arising, I will be caged and go truly insane, like a wild, rabid animal.

I am afraid.


-Keaira Dimitri Trancy-

Claude came home high.

I don't remember what happened...

Maybe I was high, as well...

But I haven't bothered with drugs or even alcohol in quite a long period of time, ever since Aranis's death. I do occasionally have a smoke, but I doubt-

I honestly felt more like a zombie that day.

It is vital I speak with Claude about his behaviour. I will not have him doing drugs in front of our little Aurelei.

I want to ask him to marry me...

What if I botch up again? I always manage to, somehow...

I suppose I'll never know if I don't try. I may be afraid, but...

I need to buy some more flowers for Aranis's grave tomorrow. I wonder what he would prefer this time... Roses, tulips, irises, petunias... I take him new ones every Sunday, and clean around his grave as thoroughly as I possibly can...

It's the least I could do for him...

Aurelei ate a firefly and her mouth glowed for quite a while. I must remind her that even if it is a lovely shade of green, she mustn't eat bugs, and until then, I can only hope Claude does not assume spider form anytime soon around her.

That would... just be strange.


-Jack Keehl-

Craptastic.

Hey, guys, guess what? I'm a dude. Dad gave me "the talk". One comment: I will absolutely never, ever, let my curiosity get the better of me around him anymore. I am officially scarred for life.

Epic fail.

Now that I'm back from barfing into a doggie bag, guess who I ran into in town the other day? Riley. Yeah, I was like "Uh, not coolio. I have Peter Pan peanut butter, and I just know this creep will stalk me until he's got his grimy paws on it."

And that is exactly what happened. I played dumb, of course, like the blonde I am. He called me a boring kid, man, which like... which like, was THE biggest insult in the history of all insults. I am not amused.

Speaking of Mister Riley, I have yet to see Cambion again. I really want to, if even just a glimpse is what I capture of him, just so that I know he's all right. I have acknowleged he now possesses the locket I once wore around my neck when I was called "Jazebel", or, more commonly, "Jazz".

So I suppose, if he has discovered the note I left within it, he knows I love him. I know it is obviously a strictly one-sided thing, but... I believe he has always been worth it.

I never strived to be much of anything to him, because he once told me that "I want people to love me, but I won't just love them in return." I didn't want to give him the satisfaction of winning this tedious game. But I guess, in the end, I have lost unintentionally. I'm probably his least important friend, after Keaira and Ciel, and perhaps others I don't know about. Man, he would go on forever about those two, though... And I would sit there, and listen intently with a smile plastered on my face, losing myself in his lovely voice and fathomless gaze...

I never thought I would actually fall for him.

I mean, crazy, right? Loca en la cabeza, 'cause... Yeah. What happened, and why have I failed to harden my heart?

I believe I have only ever kissed him once, quickly, though, and he kissed my cheek. Of course, we were playing Truth-or-are, and I was drunk on coconut rum. But I wish now that I had shown him a more worthy display of affection. Perhaps when I said my good-byes to him, on that last day... One last kiss, just to show how much I cared.

I never did kiss him good-bye.

Of course, that doesn't matter now. I don't want him to know who I am. I don't want to worry I might never see him again.

I never wanted to grow up.

I never wanted to leave him.

I never wanted to stop being his friend.

What drove me so insane that I became a murderer?

I wonder if he even so much as thinks of me, after all the wrongs I have done.

Ah... And I most certainly cannot bring him chocolate anymore. Shame, shame...

I shall watch him from afar, watch him grow up and flourish. He has such potential- and I do believe in him, a hundred and ten percent. And if harm dare comes his way, I shall protect him, for I am immortal.

And I will not bow.

-Lachrimae Branwen Michaelis-Phantomhive-

So, things have happened, yeah. My life needs time to define its new path and lead me away from this limbo I am currently trapped in.

I honestly don't have much to say, but I will say this much:

This is my chance to start anew and find my own way in life, independent, so that I may find who I am alone. I no longer wish to be long; I am determined to find myself, and I shall. I will make my parents proud. I vow it on my life, starting now.

I refuse to come out a failure in the end.

-L-

...I have a bun in the oven.

And strawberries in the fridge, as well. ^^ *goes to eat*

Fin.~