Take heed to these words, for every time I look down at my shadow on the floor, I know I am gradually... "demoning", as Grelle would say...:
The secret side of me
I never let you see
I keep it caged
But I can't control it
So stay away from me
The beast is ugly
I feel the rage
And I just can't hold it
It's scratching on the walls
In the closet, in the halls
It comes awake
And I can't control it
Hiding under the bed
In my body, in my head
Why won't somebody come and save me from this?
Make it end!
I feel it deep within,
It's just beneath the skin
I must confess that I
Feel like a monster
I hate what I've become
The nightmare's just begun
I must confess that I
Feel like a monster
I feel like a monster
My secret side I keep
Hid under lock and key
I keep it caged
But I can't control it
Cause if I let him out
He'll tear me up
And break me down
Why won't somebody come and save me from this?
Make it end!
It's hiding in the dark
It's teeth are razor sharp
There's no escape for me
It wants my soul,
It wants my heart
No one can hear me scream
Maybe it's just a dream
Or maybe it's inside of me
Stop this monster!
I, feel like a monster...
***
Dear Ciel,
Evil's most sinister form comes in that of Hope, for it prolongs the torment of all.
Vile and cruel, indeed, it is- The evil that is in the world almost always comes of ignorance, and good intentions may do as much harm as malevolence if they lack understanding. All that we are is the result of what we have thought. If a man speaks or acts with an evil thought, pain follows him. If a man speaks or acts with a pure thought, happiness follows him, like a shadow that never leaves him. Shall I tell you what the real evil is? To cringe to the things that are called evils, to surrender to them our freedom, in defiance of which we ought to face any suffering...
If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward, then we are a sorry lot indeed. Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning. And once you find laughter, no matter how painful your situation might be, you can survive it.To love is to risk not being loved in return. To hope is to risk pain. To try is to risk failure, but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing. Love comes to those who still hope even though they've been disappointed, to those who still believe even though they've been betrayed, to those who still love even though they've been hurt before. Hope is the dream of a soul awak. Hope never abandons you; You abandon it. There is love of course. And then there's life, its enemy. 'Tis better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all. I was never one to patiently pick up broken fragments and glue them together again and tell myself that the mended whole was as good as new. What is broken is broken -- and I'd rather remember it as it was at its best than mend it and see the broken places as long as I lived. The way to love anything is to realize that it might be lost.
Love is a given, hatred is acquired. Heaven has no rage, like love to hatred turned,
Nor Hell a fury, like a devil scorned.
"Sebastian".
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